"Cengeng"

"Cengeng" -- Erm, what language is this? If not mistaken, it's Jawa.
My colleagues taught me this.
I'm known as "cengeng"

"Cengeng" means someone who can cry easily, which also means Amy Lee.

Not to say I want to cry, or I like to cry, but I just can't control my tears.
It's not a fun thing ok? I got fed up about myself and really don't like myself like this, but......
I just can't control my tears!
Many times, I really don't want to cry, but my tears just roll down.
Many times, I try very hard to control, but my tears just roll down.
Many times, I shouted at myself not to cry, but my tears just roll down.
Really "cengeng"!

The worst thing is most of the time, I don't know why I cry? I don't know why my tears roll down? For NO reasons!!!!!!!!!! Arghhhhhhhh..........!!!!!!!
So "cengeng"!

Tears roll down when I'm sad.
Tears roll down when I'm happy.
Tears roll down when I'm too excited.
Tears roll down when I'm scared.
Tears roll down when I'm arguing with people.
Tears roll down when I'm disappointed.
Tears roll down when I'm scolded by people.
Tears roll down when I'm hurt.
Tears roll down when I'm frightened.
Tears roll down when I'm confronting people.
Tears roll down when I'm touched.
Tears roll down when I'm lonely.
Tears roll down when I'm stressed.
Tears roll down when I'm lost.
Tears roll down when I'm talking to my superior.
Tears roll down when I'm feeling guilty.
Tears roll down when I'm frustrated.
Tears roll down when I feel out of place.
Tears roll down when I see my friends cry.
Tears roll down when I hurt others.
Tears roll down when people can't understand what I try to say.
Tears roll down when I hear cruel stories.
Tears roll down when I watch violent movies.
Tears roll down when I see people sad.
Tears roll down when I feel sympathy to others.
Tears roll down.... Tears just roll down.....


Can you believe that my tears actually roll down when my boss was talking to me and asking me to stay?
I don't know why I cry. There's no reason for me to cry.
The nearest answer that I can come out with - I feel guilty for having to reject people so many times.

Can you believe that my tears actually roll down when I went for my interview in this new place?
I don't know why I cry. There's no reason for me to cry.
The nearest answer that I can come out with - I really want the job so badly and I'm worried that I can't get that job.

Can you believe that my tears actually roll down after the interview on my way home?
I don't know why I cry. There's no reason for me to cry.
The nearest answer that I can come out with - I thought the interview went quite negative and I'm lost as I don't know what's next to do. Dad keeps asking me to just resign and go back to Butterworth then slowly find job. I'm lost.

Can you believe that my tears actually roll down when the HR personnel called to inform me that I got the job?
I don't know why I cry. There's no reason for me to cry.
The nearest answer I can come out with - I was too happy, can't thank God enough, just so thankful, I mean soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo thankful.

Ok, I have to stop here. My "cengeng-ness" won't end, I can keep writing this post forever and ever! Got to stop here, hope that my "cengeng-ness" will stop too. (not too sure it's a good thing or a bad thing to be so cengeng!)