National Day

Tomorrow is our National Day. It reminds me of some sweet memories.

Just now on my way back home, I passed by Esplanade and it makes me think of Steven. We have been celebrating National Day together for the past 2 years.

Year 2003, both of us went to the Esplanade by bike just to see the fireworks. None of our friends wanted to go but we still insist to go as both of us never see fireworks in real before and that's the first time my parents allow me to go out so late to a crowded place like that. So we went and the fireworks are really beautiful and loud. I know you guys can't understand why girls like fireworks so much, but it's just simply so BEAUTIFUL. It makes me go WOW until I can't close my mouth. That's the first time I see fireworks. After that, we were stucked in the traffic jam for hours even we were just driving bike. Imagine for those who were driving cars. But despite all the long hours of terrible jam, there are still so many people want to see the firework, I'm not sure whether it's because of their patriotic spirit or just because the beauty of the fireworks??

Year 2004, the fireworks is in Butterworth for a change. It's just somewhere near our house. So this time we went by car with Steven's mum and my sister. This is the second time for us but the first time for my sister and his mum. It's still BEAUTIFUL and it's funny to see my sister went WOW until her mouth open so wide. haha... But this time since it's in somewhere we are familiar with, we got a very strategic spot whereby we can really see it clearly just right in front of our eyes. It's like dropping onto your face. It's really BIG and ... (what word can I use to describe something more than beautiful? ) Although there were traffic jam again after that but since we know all the small roads so it's still not that bad for us.

Year 2005, no one to do crazy stuff with me anymore, no one to accompany me to see fireworks anymore and I don't even know whether this year is in Penang or Butterworth. So tonight after my tuition class, I'll just stay at home and sleep early. That will be my National Day for this year. Hmm... I think I should just console myself by keep saying "Afterall what's so nice about fireworks then trapped in traffic jam for hours? Isn't it better to sleep at home and you will get more rest." That makes me feel a little bit better.

Anyway, Happy Merdeka Day ya!!

Who should use the car??

Today I have to take bus to college because my brother's course started. He WANTS to use the car. He WANTS to drive to college. After having the privillege to use the car for so long, now someone is going to share it with me. But I don't think it's appropriate to use the word SHARE. He WANTS means he WANTS. I can't say no.

I asked him to take his bike as he knows how to ride bike, but he say no as he'll sweat when he reach college then he'll not feel comfortable in class. What a REASONABLE reason??? So I have to take bus and I won't sweat if I take bus??? Actually we don't argue about this issue when he started the discussion as I know no point argue with him as he already insisted that he wants to use the car. Although I make suggestions like asking him to take bike but it will only be a no. No point argue with him, I know his pattern so well.

My mum was there when we discuss about this issue. I know it's hard for her to say anything. But if she don't say anything will also means that she allows him to take the car and she agrees that I should take bus. In my mum's point of view, I know she's having a difficulty as I always tell her that she sayang my brother more than all the other siblings. He always has the best of everything. So if my mum ask me to take bus, she knows what will I think and she knows she shouldn't to show that she's not unfair to anyone of us. I know she's having a tough time and I don't want her to be in that position.

Since my brother insisted that he wants to use the car and no matter what, he WANTS it. I know even if my mum say anything will also be useless so what to do? I'll have to take bus. I don't argue with him and just let it be as I really don't want my mum to feel bad. By the way, taking bus once in awhile is also very enjoyable as I get to just sit back and relax while looking at others, different characteristics and personalities and also to really enjoy the scenery. You won't get all that of you are driving.

But this morning when I wake up and get myself ready to go out to take bus, my mum stops what she's doing and says that she wants to give me a lift to the jetty. I know she's feeling bad for letting me take bus and my brother uses the car. So she's trying to help to lessen my trouble. I really appreciate that and I know that she loves all of us the same way. Mum, love ya!!

Feel Bad

I have this secret that I didn’t tell anyone except Steven but now I really feel like sharing it out as I’m feeling bad and I don’t know what should I do.

There’s this guy that really treats me nice and wanted to be with me but I know I shouldn’t. Although I have been communicating with him and seeing him(as a group and do have dinnners together for a few times), I have stopped answering his call since Wednesday as I know clearly that it won’t do any favour if I continue this unhealthy relationship. I have stated very clearly in my last conversation that we should not be contacting each other anymore. I didn’t pick up his call since then but he’s still trying. He called almost everyday and a few tiems a day.

He just called a few times again and I didn’t answer. Then he sent me a sms saying that he’s feeling so miserable now and he can’t do anything. He’s asking why I don’t want to answer his phone. He asks me to forgive him if he did anything wrong. He says he had already put his heart in and it’s impossible for him to take back. He really wants to be with me.

I feel bad after seeing this sms. He asks me to forgive him but he actually did nothing wrong. He just wants to be with someone that he shouldn’t. I feel so bad for saying no to him and treating him cruely. I feel so bad but I know I have to stand strong and not to fall. I know I shouldn’t be soft-hearted. I know I shouldn’t pick up his phone at all as once I listen to him, I know I’ll feel bad and sorry and may feel sympathy and agree to be together with him. I know my weakness. I am always been soft-hearted. So I know I have to stand firm and not answer his phone call even once no matter what. Just hope that I don’t feel that bad for treating him so cruel.

Division Council Meeting

This is the first Division Council Meeting that I actually enjoyed myself. We had our makan and meeting together in a very cozy, romantic and nice place called Little Cottage, somewhere in Burmah Road. The place is really nice. I like the place very much and will like to bring my friends there one day.

We had our council meeting while we enjoy the food. I think this is the first meeting that I actually enjoyed myself and feel happy, maybe because I'm concentrating in the food more than the meeting...hehe... What to do, the food is really nice and the price is very nice as well. The important thing is I don't have to pay for it as it's sort of an appreciation dinner for the Joint Installation Dinner committee.

We discussed lots of issues and they asked a lot of questions that helps me learn a lot too. I started to know besides all the people skills that I have to learn, I get to learn more about Toastmasters too. I get to know a lot of the inside stories and details of the organisation. I'm glad that I get to learn stuff from them. It's really a wonderful meeting for me and I hope that every Division Council meeting that follows will also be an enjoyable one.

ACCA Career Day

This morning I attended the ACCA Career Day Seminar. I've learned a lot in the morning session whereby 4 of the panel shared about the insights of what an ACCA graduate can go into. All this while, I am interested to go into commercial service line. I want to work in a Hotel. But the trainer actually says that if I straight away jumped into Hotel or service line, I'll be non-marketable in other field next time if I decided to move as service line is very specialist. I will know detailed knowledge about the service line but since service line is very specialist, the knowledge you learnt can only be applied in service line, so you will not get to move into other commercial lines, if you can, you will have to learn all over again because it's very different.

This makes me reconsider my decision. I'm wondering whether i should do 3 years of auditing first. I never like auditing. If I have to go into auditing for 3 years, it will like asking me to do things that I don't like for 3 years. I think it will be a nightmare for me. Should I do something that I don't like for 3 years just for the experience sake? Is it worth it? Or should I do something that I like? I'm confused. If I knew I'm not doing auditing in the future, why should I waste my 3 years time in auditing? I know a lot of seniors say that I will learn a lot in auditing firm. But if I go into commercial lines, I might be learning to do the things that I want to learn and had the advantage compared to those went through the auditing then only come to the commercial 3 years later. I'm not very sure....???

I'll study hard for the moment to ensure that I clear all my papers by December 2006. Gambate Amy!!!