Why ??

Last night, I saw Steven's updated photos in friendster. His photos with his NEW girl friend. I was shocked and I didn't expect this will happen even though I knew he has a girl friend there.

It reminds me how badly I have to "force" him to change his status in friendster to "in a relationship" when he's with me. And now, he changed his status to "in a relationship" so fast.

It reminds me he never put my photos in his friendster before. And now, he put up so many of her photos there, even her photo without him.

He knew I'll check my friendster often. He knew I'll see his photos. Why he never thought of how I will feel after seeing these?

I wonder how come he can feel so good after all these. How come he can go into a relationship with another girl so fast without feeling shameful or bad for treating me this way? I really can't understand. If I'm him, I'll definitely feel so ashame with my act of dumping a 5 years girl friend for a new girl, just after one year in Australia.

Anyway, I think I should feel happy for him as he didn't feel guilty at all. I know how it feel to live with guilt. I should congrats him for not feeling that way.

Just one thing to tell him, don't give any promises to your new girl friend now. You'll never know how hurt it will be when you can't do it. haha....feel so silly...maybe he will not forgot all his promises this time, maybe he will really treat her nice and won't break any of his promises, why should I even think of all these...haha....how silly am I!!!

Hope that this is what God wants for you. Hurting me to go for her. Since you have hurt me so deep because of her, hope that you will really appreciate her and not break her heart anymore... I know how hurt it is to be hurt by you this way...I will not want to see another girl suffer like me... I hope this time you can be more firm with what you do....be more mature... not to change your mind so easily anymore...

Wish you happy always!!!.....(I sound so fake! Who can understand how I feel right now?? )