Friends = Strangers ??

I used to have 3 very close friends. Still remember those days when 4 of us get together, we can talk about anything and really enjoy spending time together.

Now 3 of them are away. 1 in Shanghai, 1 in Singapore and 1 in Australia. Before they left, I have this concern that we might not be close anymore. Now it really happens.

The one in Australia, never even bother to contact me anymore. It's just so realistic. Ever since he called our relationship off, he never call me anymore.

The one in Singapore, we seldom see each other online. I think less than 5 times ever since she left. She did sent me her recent photos, if not mistaken, beginning of this year. We didn't really chat much, most probably nothing much to talk about anymore.

The one in Shanghai, we seldom see each other online too. I just heard from some other friends of ours that he came back for a short while during labour day holiday. Sad thing is, he didn't even call me to say hi when he's here, don't mention to meet up with me.

It makes me think again. What's friendship? Is it just a temporary passerby? Someone who seems to be so important to me at a point of time can be a total stranger at another point of time. I don't blame it to anyone else, I blame it to myself. I think I contribute to this sad ending of a relationship.

I know past is past, I might not be able to do anything already. However, I need to find out what's the cause of this sad ending of a friendship and try not to do it again. I realize it's all about communication. When we don't communicate with someone often, after sometime, we don't know where to start our conversation anymore. It seems that there are so many things happened in between that they don't know about and it's not easy to tell them the story before giving them the whole picture. The conversation will ended up by just asking very general question like how are you.

I'm quite down and upset when I think about this. I'm now staying in Petaling Jaya whereby all my dear friends are in Penang. I somehow have this concern again that I might lose all these friends one day. I will not get to see them often anymore. I can only go back for weekend and it'll be quite rush so most probably I'll not be able to meet up with them. Every time when they meet up and have lots of fun back there, my heart just feel so pain and really wish that I can be there.

I can only say that I really don't wish to lose any friends anymore. They are all my dearest friends whom I really appreciate their love and care for me. I really don't wish to greet them as a stranger or have nothing much to say anymore. I know I cannot just sit here and do nothing. I tell myself, I must take the initiative to let them know that I really don't wish to lose them and really appreciate them. I must also try my best to communicate and keep myself up to date as much as I can. My heart feels pain whenever I think of losing my friends. :-(