Mooncake Festival

As usual, I always want to do something special on special occasion like this…

Still remember last year or last 2 year ( I also can’t remember =p ), my classmates, around 15 of us went to the beach behind Crown Prince Hotel in Batu Ferringgi. We chat and play lots of games… really good time and had so much fun... Then we lighted up all our lanterns, we walked from one end of the beach to the other end of the beach. On our way, we saw many groups of people like us having gathering on the beach, we just walked up to them and wished them Happy Mooncake Festival even though we didn’t know them, but it was fun!!! It was fun to see people start smiling, or rather laughing… and wished us back too.

This year in PJ, I asked my friends, who are also like my family in PJ, Yueen San, Yueen Mun, Aliza, Timothy, Su and Weng Soon came over to my place for a gathering. I also invited my dear friend Kai Loon and his friend Boon Khim over for dinner together. I cooked the special recipe pasta as usual since it was the only thing that I know how to cook… hehe… Actually I myself want to eat that for very long already, I can’t cook for 1 portion so… hehe… The sauce was nice but the pasta was a bit over cooked. :-(

We had a lot of mooncakes too. Aliza, Yueen San and Boon Khim each brought mooncakes. I also bought Mini Mint mooncake and mum bought me some mooncakes from Butterworth too. Of course we can’t and we didn’t finish all the mooncakes. Su brought Chinese tea.. but it seems that I’m the only one drinking the tea for whole night. Aliza and Tim went out to buy more drinks and ice-cream.

We chat and we played taboo. It was really fun. Guys won the game by quite a lot but it was still a nice game. Some people get panic very fast, some people was just blur, some people was zzzzzzz…. Haha… I really enjoyed it and hope we can get to play again.

I’m really glad to have friends like them. Being far away from home, being far away from my family… is not a fun thing. But God has been really good to me… He knows my need and He provides… They have really make my life here more bearable and more “life”…… Really can’t imagine my life here alone without knowing them. I can only say God is good!

Bad day at work!

Last Wednesday, I really had a tough time at work. Everything just happen against my way. I was so frustrated and not happy. I wanted to go home at 3.30pm but ended up 4.30pm only I get to leave office.

I was in bad mood. Guess what I did when I reach home? I also can't believe that I actually did all that. I sweep the garage, sweep the whole house, mop the whole house, wash all plates all over again, wash all my clothes, wash the toilets and clean my tables. I almost bring out all my clothes to iron. Luckily, I felt so much better before I did that. Haih...

Spoilt!

I spoilt myself last weekend!

I was given a free voucher for 2 buffet lunch in my hotel Cinnamon Coffee House for winning the 1st prize in designing the staff cafe's name and logo. At first I'm not interested to take part in the competition at all. Thanks to my big boss Sherene who "forced" me design because she says finance team must at least send something for the competition, finance team must take part in the competition. Since she knows that I'm quite good in all these things (because I helped to decorate the finance notice board and design the invitation letter for department heads during our pot luck lunch) so I was called into her room and kept asking me to submit my design... sigh... Anyway, it turns out to be good. :-) I get to eat for free. Of course my design was good too "lah"... hehe... Actually I just simply design something, I actually gave her 2 design. One is "Our One Cafe" and another one is "One 2 Go Cafe". I thought she'll choose one to submit but ended up she submitted both. It's open for all staff to vote during our thanksgiving lunch. Ahem... Of course all my departments people supported me and since I have some connection with Kitchen department, they supported my design too. So.. actually not necessary my design is the best but just that I have my supporters...hehe...

Anyway, I was awarded with a voucher for 2 free buffet lunch. I wanted to bring my dad and my sister since they are coming down mid Oct, but the voucher only valid until 10th Oct. I tried to ask my big boss to delay the due date but GM says cannot. So no choice... I can't bring them. So I asked Joseph to go with me on Saturday because I know he'll love it and it's always nice to have buffet with him as he'll "motivate" me or rather "encourage" me to eat more... haha... True enough, I really did enjoy the buffet. We ate A LOT. Almost 4 hours. I think it's quite worth it. I'll pay to eat again but only if I have extra money...

At night, after having dinner with Su, Peng Chui and Weng Soon, WS suggested to watch Hair Spray. It's some musical kind of movie which I really want to watch. Su doesn't want to go but I remember Aliza wanted to watch so I call her and ended up 3 of us-Aliza, WS and myself went. We went to Cineleisure but surprisingly they don't show that movie so we have to 1Utama New Wing GSC and we can only get 12.10am tickets so we have to wait to watch late nights. Aliza and I went to play foosball... It was really fun playing that with her. I can't remember when was the last time when I played with my siblings. Both of us get so excited and screamed so loud... haha... Now when I think back also feel like laughing. We played 1 game after another, 3 games altogether. =p

The movie was nice. I especially like the "I hear the bell" song. I find it so funny to see the girl sings with all the expression on her face. It's really so funny. Maybe that's why people always say when you are in love, your face will just show and it's just so impossible to keep your feelings... haha... It was nice to watch with both of them too, especially Aliza... haha... because we have so much laughters by trying to do the dance... haha...

Sunday, after church worship, we went to Secret Recipe for lunch. I had my favourite Ton Yam Kung. Yummy Yummy!!! As usual, I ate til very ugly!!! sweating... running nose... tears rolling down... haha... 2 things that I can't eat when I'm with my date (I mean if I have any.. ) will be Tom Yang Kung in Secret Recipe and Nandos.

That evening, Eugene Yapp came back so we went for dinner together. We went to Shogun for Japanese buffet dinner. Again... so so full. We enjoyed eating and chatting. I think this is what we called "fellowship"... haha... It's nice to chat with him because he has so much to share and really open my eyes to see and makes me think a lot.

After that, 5 of us, Su, Yueen San, TIm, Aliza and myself went for another movie which I really wnat to watch too. Chuch and Larry. It's better than I expected it to be. It's really funny and makes me laugh so loud until my stomache. Especially the part when the priest says "The ling is shircle, a shircle has no end. The ling is not triangow, triangow has cornar." in that funny slange... hahah... And there's also sentimental and touching part which makes me cry too. It's just so sweet to see how both friends can have such close bond and care so much about one another. It reminds me of Kai Loon, Chiu Siang and Juan See.

Phew... what a weekend!!! I really spoilt myself. Exams coming, only 2 months left. I must really buck up and study hard. Must learn to say no to all these until my exam is over. I really wnat to pass this paper so that after this December I don't have to study anymore. Add oil!!!

GLO Graduation

Last weekend was the GLO Training School Graduation. The rule is as long as you attended 3 weeks and above you are considered full time students. Haha… the rule was set just for me… I only attended Part 1 for 3 weeks and I’m considered a full time student with a full time certificate. :-p

I can’t be there earlier to help as I don’t have enough leave, so I can only help to things that need preparation before hand.

I helped to do the booklet for the service. The file was so big that I almost can’t get it send over to Eugene on time. He was quite disappointed with me about this. Sorry… I was supposed to send it to him by Wednesday. I came home late that day and was rushing for Prayer meeting so I didn’t manage to send to him. On Thursday, I tried to send, but it was just so slow to use dial up to send such huge file. I try to attach and send it over… I have tried for 4 hours plus and the file was still not attached and couldn’t be sent. So I delayed til Friday, I brought my laptop to work, walked to 1 Utama New Wing during my lunch break to online and send it over. The worst thing was he didn’t receive. Sometime wrong somewhere… but don’t know where… So after work at 3.30pm, I rushed back to my aunt’s house to send it again. Luckily it went through this time. Only then he get to send it to the printer to get it printed. Obviously he has valid and solid reasons to be upset about me, I can’t complain or blame anyone… It’s my fault for not foreseeing all these problems. Anyway, thank God that it went through just in time for the printer to print it.

I helped to do the slide show presentation. This was even far more larger file so I can’t send it to him to view it first. Since I have to work half day and can only leave office at 11am, I promise to reach Taiping latest by 3.30pm (the service was at 5pm) to set up everything and to pre-run the whole thing. I have been calling Joseph to wake him up since 10.30am but every half an hour I called again, he’s still on his bed… He “snoozed” til 12.30pm only realize that the meeting was at 5pm, he thought it’s at night. So we reached Taiping around 4pm. Again, 10 minutes before we reached Taiping, Eugene called and very disappointed that we still haven’t arrived. He was worried that the things were not properly set up and everything will screwed up. I managed to set up my laptop and show him the slides. Thank God that everything run smoothly throughout the whole service.

After the service only we get to relax a bit and talk to one another. Only a few of us went. Melody, Samuel, Shawn, Joshua, Naomi, Joseph and myself. I didn’t get to talk to them much because I was with my Butterworth youth Eunice and Jonathan. It has been a long while since we met each other too. It’s so nice to get to chat with them. Although it may seems to be like we are out of topics, the fact that we just stand there and eat together… it’s good enough. I don’t know how to express that feeling. It’s like we know each other for years. We know each other since young, and now 3 of us are already no longer teenagers. It’s just WARM…

One more thing that makes me real happy was that my mum came!!! She came with other church members in the van. She not only came herself but she brought me lots of stuff. She bought me a rice cooker, my favourite mini mooncakes from Butterworth and special panadol from Butterworth ( but unfortunately I forgot to get the panadol from her before she went back). I was really happy to see her there. For her to purposely take time off from her busy schedule and to come all the way to Taiping to attend my graduation, it meant a lot to me. I really hope my parents can support me for going through this GLO course. I just want them to know that I really learn a lot and learn to see things differently and have stronger faith in God that He will carry me through. I just want them to know that I learn to be a better girl too =)

After all the church members went back, only left Eugene, Aunty Siew Leng, Melody, Joseph and myself. Of course, we went for our favourite Lemak Sui or Curry Laksa place for supper. I missed the place so much. I didn’t get to eat the last time when I went with the Life Chapel youth because of the heavy rain. This time I ate 1 and a half bowl and the “Egg Tea”-Hard-boiled egg in tea. We chat and laugh…. Really had a great time of fellowship…

At night, only 3 of us, Melody, Joseph and I stayed in the bungalow. I was too tired and sleepy. I slept on the sofa until around 4am. I woke up to chat with Melody for awhile then went to the room to sleep.

Sunday morning, after service, we went for lunch and followed by our favourite ice-cream place-Panorama. Joseph says the ice-cream is just so so… but to Melody and myself, it’s not the ice-cream that really matters, but the memories and the fellowship.

This trip makes me think a lot. It has been more than half a year ever since GLO Part 1 til now. I can still remember all the great time and err… not so good time (scolding)…. It’s a point where my life really change. If not because of that short 3 weeks, I’ll not be in PJ today doing what I’m doing now. It’s just so wonderful to know how God can works in a person life in a short 3 weeks. I’m sure Melody will understand what I meant… :-)

Last year this time

Sometimes I just can't remember what I wrote in my blog after some time. As I read back my blogs that I wrote, I saw this interesting one which I posted it on 24th Sep 2006 with the title True Love.

Haha, I sort of can't really accept that I actually wrote all that. I actually gave myself a year to get to know as many people as I can and learn all the lessons that God wants me to learn. How can I ever learnt all the lessons God wants me to learn? Ha... I even wish myself all the best in this so called 1 year period and look forward to know what will happen next year this time.

Well, today is 14th Sep. 10 more days my 1 year period will be due. Hmm... So it's time to reflect back and see what I have done in this 1 year.

It's a looooong year to me... Long as in I've really went through a lot, learnt a lot and hopefully grew a lot too...

I once thought that I'll be extremely miserable if I've no one besides me. I'm so used to having someone besides me for so long. As my name spells, Amy means beloved... Someone who is always loved by someone. However, God has been really good to me and He has shown me so much. I'm still single now but yet I feel that I'm so so loved, not only by someone, but by many ones... He has showed me how much my parents and my siblings love me and how much my friends love me. The most important thing is He has opened my eyes to see how much He really do loves me. Well, I'm just so so thankful about everything, about all the things that happened and about all the people that I have met in this past 1 year.

Err... relationship wise... I've met many people. I realized that it's very important to get to know many people before I actually rushed into things. When I get to know people, I'll realize what kind of character I can't actually fit in with, I'll realize what kind of personality I can't accept or live with. As I get to know different people with all kinds of different character and attitude, I get to know myself too.

I believe God still wants me to learn the lesson of patience and have faith in Him that He'll provide the right person when the time is right. My constant prayer is just to avoid me from bad relationship and not to rush things as sometimes I do feel lonely and wish to have someone. (Luckily, I only feel that way when I'm in bad mood or depressed mode, not very often) Just like my favourite quote in the movie "Evan Almighty", when I pray for patience, will God give me patience or the OPPORTUNITY to be patience? Meaningful, isn't it?

Now, although there is this "someone" who still doesn't want to give up and continues to treat me like a princess, I know in my heart it's not right. I guess this is the so called opportunity for me to learn to be patience and to do the right things, an opportunity for me to wait patiently for the right time and the right person. =)

Hmm... let see what will happen next year this time then. (Most probably I'll forgot what I have said in this article and most probably I will not understand or accept that I actually wrote this by next year. Hopefully by that time I'll read this and will write something)... Haha... It's quite fun actually... =p

My grandma

Last Sunday, after the lunch, I spent some time talking to my dearest grandma. She's a very loving and soft-hearted person. She kept asking me to find a job in Penang and come back home. She's very worried that I'm alone in so far land, but she also says luckily my aunt is here in PJ and she can takes care of me and I can go and find her if I have anything.

Before I go back, I says goodbye to her and when she sent me out til the gate, she starts crying... I have not seen her cry before. Although I know she's soft-hearted but she's not someone who cries easily. That day, she really cries so badly until her whole face is red. She keeps wiping off her tears but it's still rolling down... I will never forget that scene. Saw her crying, makes my heart feel so pain and ... (I don't know what is the right word to describe how I feel, it's like my heart is twisted and squeezed... ) My tears start rolling down and it goes the same to my mum and my sis too...

I know my grandma worries about me and she actually feels so sad for me when she thinks of I being alone here. I know she feels a lot for me. She feels sad and pain to know I'm alone here. (Haiz... I can't control my tears again... )

My tears keep rolling down when I'm in the bus. I just can't stop crying when the scene of her crying flashing out in my mind. It makes me think a lot when I'm in the bus. I have made my grandma so worried about me and feel so sad because of me, I must not make all her worres and sadness into nothing... It makes my purpose of coming to PJ and making her feel so sad even clearer now. It just reminds me in a very hard way that I must not lose my vision, I must not be carried away by emotion... I'm here for a purpose... I'm not here to enjoy my life or to mess up my life... I've a purpose to serve!!!

I have given up so many things back there to come to a new place all by myself. I'm not here for nothing. I don't give up all those for nothing!

Think about my family... All of them love me so much, miss me so much and really worry about me. I can be so comfortable at home, having my parents with me all the time knowing that they'll protect me and be at my side all times. I can talk to my siblings about anything anytime. I can have dinner together with them everyday. I can go shopping with my mum and my sister. I can be there to share my siblings problems anytime when they need me. I can share with my family all my problems knowing that they'll help me to solve it or gives opinion. All the comforts, love and protection...

Think about Toastmasters... I'm already in such a position that all members would love to be in. The senior members really mentors me and gives me all the opportunities that many are longing for. The junior members really look up to me, respect me and wants to learn from me. People hears about me. All the love and respect...

Think about my good friends... ClaPEJ, and the gang... They loves me so much and really sayang me. They always ask me to go back to Penang, some even wants to help me to get a job there so that I can go back. :-) I really enjoys hanging out with them, spending time with them. They are the ones whom I spend the most time chit chatting with... Although most of the time we talked nonsense but it's still fun nonsense... haha... I really miss all those good times. All the love and laughters...

Think about my college good friends... They cares so much about me. They will always be there to listen to me and always concern about me. Still remember Yueh Ching even made me a pillow after knowing that I'm depressed over my pillow kena throw away by my aunt. We always organize "get together" and do fun and silly things together. Still remember they even threw me my most romantic birthday party ever for me for my 22nd birthday. All the love and concern...

Think about all these... especially the scene of my grandma crying... I reminded myself again that I have to always bear in my mind my purpose of letting go all those and come to PJ for... I have made so many people worry and miss me so much... I'm not here to mess around with my life... I'm not here to enjoy my life at the expense of all the worries of the people who cares about me. I'm here for a purpose!!! (Ya.. I know I have said this over and over again... but I still want to repeat this... because I don't want myself to be carried away by my emotion or anything...)

Don't lose your vision here
Carried away by the emotion
Try to look back and say, "What is my life, without you O Lord"
Always remember what God has for us
Always remember what God promises us in our life

Food paradise

Last weekend I went back to Butterworth. That was my longest time spent at home with my family ever since I come to work in PJ. I really had a great time back there and this trip really make me realize a lot. Let's talk about food first, hehe...

Friday I woke up late because I was so tired of the journey back. I can't get bus ticket and so lucky that my Kai Loon's friend is driving back so I follow their car. Half way through the journey, they change driver, the second driver's driving skills really cannot. So unstable, keep swinging left and right. Really makes me headache and I can't sleep. So when I reached home, I continue to sleep til almost noon. By the way, I'm so touched that my dad purposely wake up so early like 5am to fetch me. :-)

After I woke up, we went out for nice and yummy lunch at Takehana Japanese Restaurant in Autocity Juru with my family, my aunt and my cousin sister, 10 of us. I belanja my sister and brother. As usual, I ordered my favourite Unagi set. :-)

Then we went to my grandma's house to fetch both my grandparents, go shopping at the new shopping mall Sunway Karnival in Perai. It has been a long while I didn't spend time with my aunt and my cousin sister. We used to be quite close, but after both of them married, we don't hang out together so often already. Still remember when I was admitted in the hospital when I was 15, my cousin sister was the one who took care of me in the hospital.

Dinner time, we went to hawker stall, I ate salted fish Bihun, nothing great but the drinks Peanut Ice Blended is so so geng... my favourite drink!!! It's just so nice. Can't get this elsewhere. After dinner, we went to my aunt's house, the men play mahjung and the ladies play cards, but I sleep. Hehe... =p

Saturday morning, I woke up early because I really miss my favourite breakfast in Penang. I woke my mum to accompany me ;-p Both of us went to Penang, rushed to my favourite breakfast place for Chee Cheong Fun and Toast Bread... Satisfaction!!! It's just so nice...

We went to my Ganma's house after breakfast. I have not visited her for quite some time. I'm very close to her because I used to stay over in her place for four years when I'm in college. Sometimes when I'm too lazy to go home, I'll just stays in her place and she is a great cook... but this time I didn't tell her earlier that I'm coming so she didn't prepares anything. I miss her chocolate pie...

Juan See, my best friend, came to pick me and Yueh Ching for my favourite Laksa. 3 of us get together, chat a lot... Miss those college times... Still remember the way we know each other... Haha... My bag was snatched near college and both of them walked pass there and helped me. That time I was so helpless and both of them just appeared and helped. That's how we started our friendship story. :-)

After that, we went back to Butterworth to wait for my dad to come back for dinner. We went to my favourite curry mee place. Although my dad don't really like that place, he still went because he knows I want to go. He's just so super dad!!! This curry mee is my favourite so far because they have my favourite sotong and quill's eggs. It's just yummy to take a kosong Curry Bihun with these 2 dishes...

Later that night, we (my family, my aunt, my cousin sister and my grandparents) went to Halo cafe to listen to musics. It's quite a happening place for youngsters but we went there with old people. You can actually ask the singers to sing any songs and dedicate the songs to anyone. We purposely write an oldies song to dedicate to my grandparents... of course the singers don't know how to sing as they only sings those popular songs now. Anyway, my grandparents were so happy when they read out the dedications. I can still remember my grandma's laughters...

Sunday after church, my grandma called and said that she cooked us (or rather she cooked me..hehe) chicken rice... the real Hainam Chicken Rice. So far still no one can beat my grandma's chicken rice... The rice smells so nice, the chicken is so smooth and the chilli is just the right taste... and the combination of all these 3 important components simply spells EXCELLENT!!!

That's all about my Makan experience back home for this so called "long" weekend that I had. I really enjoyed it and it really charged up my battery and gives me the "umph" to come back to PJ. :-)

Job vs Ministry

Some people have a JOB in the church,
others involve themselves in a MINISTRY.

If you quit because somebody criticized you, it was a JOB.
If you keep on serving, it's a MINISTRY.

If you quit because no one praised you or thanked you, it was a JOB.
If you stay with it even though nobody recognizes your efforts, it is a MINISTRY.

WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?

If you are doing it just because no one else will, it's a JOB.
If you are doing it to serve the Lord, it's a MINISTRY.

If you'll do it only as long as it does not interfere with your other activities, it's a JOB.
If you are committed to stay with it even when it means letting go of other things, it's a MINISTRY.

It's hard to get excited about a JOB.
It's almost impossible not to be excited about a MINISTRY!

If our concern is success, it's a JOB.
If our concern is faithfulness, it's a MINISTRY.

An average church is filled with people doing JOBS.
A great and growing church is filled with people involved in MINISTRY.

Where do we fit in? What about us?

If God calls you to a MINISTRY, don't treat it like a JOB.
If you have a JOB, give it up and find a MINISTRY.

God does not want us feeling stuck with a JOB, but excited and faithful to Him in a MINISTRY.

Matthew 25:21
His Lord said to him, "Well done, good and faithful servant; you are faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your Lord."

Gathering

Last weekend I went back to Butterworth. After having dinner with my dad and my sister Ann, I went to meet up with my dear friends-ClaPEJ and Pala.

We went to e-Gate Starbucks after their JID dinner. We chat until Starbuck closed, then we moved to sit on the sort-of-platform to continue our conversation until almost 3am only we left for our respective homes.

I really enjoyed myself and found it so worthwhile to travel back. Although it’s just a simple and casual conversation, to me, it meant a lot. Life has been very different back in PJ. They are the ones who know me and have gone through a lot with me. It’s just so nice to meet up, chat and have a good laugh, it’s just like charging my battery so that I can come back here with more energy…

As usual, our topics will be either Toastmasters or trying to match people up. =) All of us besides Johnson and Pala, who SAD to say not single anymore, were being discussed and being paired up with others. It’s always funny and interesting to listen and get to know our friends being paired up with someone, but when it’s our turn to be paired up, it’ll be extremely unwilling and awkward. Haih… I guess the only way not to be paired will be be like Johnson and Pala.

The most thoughtful thing throughout the night was what Pala said… Pala said something wise….!!! Pala said something wise…!!! Did I just say Pala said something wise??? O.. ya, I did. Hehe… =p Anyway, when he talked about his friend, a shy friend, who like a girl so much but yet don’t know for what reason, maybe shy or maybe ego, just can’t take the first step to tell the girl… until the girl is with someone else only he regret.

When he shared about this, I was in a deep thought. It’s really true. There are so many stories saying the same thing. Sometimes we just so scared of what others will say, scared of what the response will be, scared of this and scared of that, it’s just so hard for some people to express themselves, to tell out what’s really in their heart. At the end, he will be the only person who regret about it. It’s really not easy to find another person whom you really like and have feelings with again… This is very true. I’m sure many will agree too, it’s not easy to find someone compatible and yet have feelings with….

This afternoon during my conversation with Lilian, we bought up this issues and share opinions. I really agree with what she said. Sometimes even though we like a guy, but after awhile, that guy still don’t open up and tell out or give any confirmation, and at the same time if there’s another guy who we might not like that much, but just because he says things out and confess his feelings, we’ll choose to be with the second one. Confession and confirmation are very important as it’s an assurance. No matter how much the guy may hints, may it be 1000000 hints, it’ll still not be equivalent to 1 confession.

So guys, Pala had put “money” into your pocket. It’s something that really worth ponder about, especially all my single guys' friends, Clement, Ee Liang and Peng Yew ya!! Don’t do things or don’t not do things that you will regret for life. Remember, it’s really not easy to find someone and when this opportunity is gone, it’s even harder to get someone who’s equally good or better. I experienced this personally and I really understand. =) Be brave, be like a man!!! :-) All the best ya!

What a way!

Although I have used this way to calm myself down for a couple of time, now only I realize it's effectiveness. It's really helpful.

Everytime when I'm really really down and depressed, I will cry. Sometimes I'll just cry "mildly" but sometimes when it's a bit more serious and I really can't find anyone to talk to, I'll cry more seriously. I'll really cry out loud until my whole face and body feel numb. I'm not sure how come this will happen, I guess with the little knowledge of biology, I guess it's because I have not enough air. So I'll feel numb from my whole face til my whole body.

One thing good is that, no matter how sad I am, how terribly I felt and how bad I cry, when the numbness come, I'll automatically stop crying, because I scared I'll die. =p It's like I can't breathe at all if I continue crying. So I definitely need to stop. I'll stop and sit there, can't move at all as it's all numb. After awhile when the numbness has gone, I'll not feel that sad anymore and I feel better. Weird isn't it? Anyway, it's a way for me to get over things... But, don't worry, I'll only use this way when I'm really really sad as I know this is not a good way to use to calm myself. =p

:-(

Can you understand the feeling of being harrassed???

An Article

I’m now staying in a house where the owner Uncle Eugene has a room as his library. This is part of the main reason why I decided to stay here alone. I like reading and I’m allowed to read his books.

I picked up this book few days ago. The title attracted my attention. I enjoys reading this book and learnt a lot as it answers lots of my questions. The book title is called “Free to love again!” by Dick Purnell. There’s this interesting article, a real life story, which I find it very meaningful and touching. I would like to share it with you.

Most people’s first impression of me goes something like this: intelligent, gifted, better-than-average looks, personable, normal. Some say I’m mysterious to the point of being threatening. Others find me deep to the point of being different. I guess you can’t please everybody, but most people tell m e that God gave m e a fair share of the goodies in life.

Whatever the reasons are, I’ve always seemed to be attractive to women, and I’ve dated a bunch of them. Lookers. Thinkers. Devout. Devoid. Locker-room-story women. Women with empty heads and full bras. Women with deep minds and shallow cups.

Then once upon a time, I met a beauty named Anna. She was immensely friendly. Easy to know. Positive. These pulses were countered by her blatant immaturity and questionable character and substance, but I must honestly confess, I was too busy staring at her boobs to see her heart.

I must admit I’ve not always been the Prince Charming type to the loves of my life. Anna happened to enter my life at the right time, though. I was 28, tired of first-date questions, tired of the dating ritual, tired of being single. From the start I did my best to be my best with Anna. My old girlfriends would have been amazed to see the patience, sensitivity and commitment I invested in her. (Anna needed all those qualities-in abundance.)

As we approached our second anniversary of dating, I was making secret plans to propose to my fair maiden, while she was making secret plans to dump me. She caught me completely by surprise-which hurt. Part of the surprise was finding her sharing the sheets one weekend with an old boyfriend-which hurt even more. Another part of the surprise was staring into eyes that just days before burned red hot with “I love you,” and finding those same thick-lashed eyes filled with Texas-Chain-Saw-Massacre indifference-which hurt the most.

Two years. Cuddling. Talking. Fighting and making up. Evolving from pretentious early dates to comfortable, couch-potato Friday nights. All the stuff said, all the stuff understood. Two years of building hacked and maimed in just a day. The relationship was buried in a closed-casket funeral.

Afterward, I sat alone with little smithereens of my heart bleeding on the carpet. It had been an emotional amputation without anesthetic. Put a stick in your mouth and bite down hard as she started sawing.

Enter God. Or, more accurately, re-enter God. I had held His hand a long time ago, but somewhere in the growing up stuff I let go of God and moved to women, and to Anna.

I am a preacher’s kid, born with a spiritual silver spoon in my mouth. Although other kids had more money, more stuff, cooler vacations, etc. I had the greatest gifts: two walking-talking, second-by-second Christian parents. I experienced a personal relationship with God very early. God was not abstract to me; He was real. I knew more about the bible than fifteen seminary students. Even as a boy I had moved on from David and Goliath stories to the foundational principles of the Bible, principles like “you reap what you sow.”

The reaping after Anna was awful. I remember sitting at my desk, numb, inhaling and exhaling thick, sharp pain even Tylenol III couldn’t dull. I’ve broken my leg and nose before. Give me that kind of pain any day. Just don’t break my heart. The fragile Waterford crystal decanter where my soul had lived had been crushed and my soul sloshed around through the broken glass. I felt alive only on some warped basis of the philosopher Descartes’s statement: I hurt, therefore I am. Mt cells hurt. My atoms hurt. My DNA hurt.

As I sat with my feet propped up on my desk and my heart down somewhere between the chair and the floor, I knew I had to pray. I debated it. Who was I to ask Holy God for help? How hypocritical! How cheap! My intellect said no. It took nearly an hour to quit the debate.

The first words were the hardest.

“Dear God…”

I had no idea what to say next, but I knew at my deepest, deepest level that praying was exactly the right thing to do. I knew without a doubt that He, my Creator, was literally listening to me. It was just little me and big Him. Only utter honesty would do. I was scared to go on, but mortified not to. “I’m embarrassed to pray to You. I have absolutely no right on earth to pray to You.”

At that moment for the first time in my life I saw myself accurately. More important, I saw God accurately. I couldn’t pray this prayer on the basis of brownie points, good deeds done, favors accumulated. His absolute holiness and my absolute dirtiness were as real as my inner pain. This gap between His glory and my tragedy wasn’t some temporary thing, the result of my separation from Anna. I realized that, even in my happiest moments with Anna, I had been so miserably distant from His wonder that life seemed utterly hopeless.

I couldn’t go one word further in my prayer until I grasped this reality. God was letting me see a sliver of truth-and the truth fit.

Then I laid out my whole story to Him. It was undoubtedly the most sincere prayer I’d ever prayed. There was no pretense, no formality. I doubt if many of the words I muttered contained more than one syllable.

I told God that I was upside down, inside out. I was honest with Him about my predicament, about my pain and about taking responsibility for what I had done. My confession wasn’t circumstantial or related only to Anna issues-I stood before God like Adam without even one fig leaf of rationalization to cover myself.

There came a point in my prayer when I felt it was God’s turn. It seemed He was either going to fry me with a lightning bolt or totally ignore me. I would have preferred to be fried. I couldn’t face the thought that God had written me off.

I may have been sitting in my chair, but my soul was prostrate on the floor, waiting. God’s response wasn’t a spoken message in my ear or handwritten message on the wall. It’s like that old question, “If a tree falls in the forest when no one is around, does it make any sound?” If you’re within hearing distance, you’ll hear it. God’s answer to my prayer was like a tree falling inside me. No telling how many trees have fallen in my inner forest. This time, for the first time in my life, I was within hearing distance.

What did I hear? Forgiveness, love. I suddenly knew that this great, pure, holy God loved me and forgave me. I wasn’t hoping for forgiveness; I knew I was forgive-then and there, for everything. I felt vacuumed, freshly painted, spring cleaned.

Up to that point, love, forgiveness, grace, peace and faith were nothing more than nouns in my religious dictionary. Astonishingly, one by one, the rote Sunday school definitions of these terms were replaced by the reality behind the definitions. I was no longer just an eyewitness to love and forgiveness; I was a participant.

My encounter with God that day was only the beginning. The pain didn’t evaporate, which was good because the pain kept me on my knees. I never let go of God’s hand. I’d wake up in the morning, make a long-distance call to Him and never hang up. We stayed on the line together all day. The healing was phenomenal. In October I was Lazarus in the tomb: dead and gone, a stinking mess.

By mid-January I had “come forth."

My Own Laptop

At last, I have my own laptop. I have been asking for a laptop since long ago but my parents always say it’s not necessary for me to have my own laptop, I can use theirs.
Now, I can’t use theirs anymore because I’m far away in PJ. My dad is so kind to allow me to have my own laptop. He even agrees to pay extra for me to get a good one. I was shocked at first, but I realize he really loves me a lot. I can hear through his voice how much he misses me and loves me. (Tears flooded my eyes again)

Hmm… Talk about my laptop. I must really thank Christopher for helping me to speed up the delivery of my laptop, so that I can bring it back to PJ this week. It’s a Dell XPS. A new model. I bought 12” screen so that it’s smaller and lighter, easier to carry around. It’s really so handsome looking. I immediately fell in love with it. J

Now, I’m so looking forward to come back home. (Not like previously, I don’t know what can I do at home) Now, I have so many things that I want to do. Of course, writing blogs is one of it. Besides, Mum also bought lots of DVD for me to bring back here and I have lots of series to watch. Of course, I need to learn to control myself, not to watch til late midnight and also not to only watch DVD and forgot about more important things to do-the reason why I’m here and why I need a laptop.

Anyway, I’m still very excited with this new laptop. Finally, I get to own it all by myself, which means I can save things inside without having fear that people will disturb my files, I can sign in my MSN automatic and put favourite photos as my wallpaper. And of course, I get to use it whenever I want, I can pen down all my thoughts and I can write blogs more often and share stories with all my friends.

I’m so happy :-)

My new friends

Maybe it's time for me to write a little bit about my new friends in Petaling Jaya.

I keep telling my friends how much I miss my friends in Penang. One of them reminded me that maybe it's time for me to move on, instead of always feeling sad and miss so many people.

Hmm... Ok, maybe I should also think of the friends that I have here. Of course, there are still NEW friends, it's still very different from all my dearest friends in Penang, but still, I think I should learn to appreciate them more too.


Well, I have a few new friends here. Besides working, going over to my aunt's house and stay alone at home, I'll be spending most of my time in church activities and hang around with my church friends. I guess most of the young girls (I mean girls around my age) are quite busy with their life or are attached with someone, so I don't see any girls in the church during weekdays. I'm the only young one there. The rest all aunties... Married and some even grandmas... So most of the time, I'm the thorns among the roses... Err... sounds wrong... It should be I'm the rose among the thorns =p


First in the list...

Joseph

I am adopted by a nice family Uncle Weng Onn here. They have this adoption program in the church to adopt people like me into their families. I was arranged into this sweet and lovely family. Joseph is the youngest son. He's same age with my brother Alvin. He's my dear brother here.

I've learnt a lot from him and realize how nice a person can actually be. He's the first super nice person whom I know and he did all that from a sincere heart, a heart for the Lord.

He's still waiting to be posted into local Uni so he can accompany most of the time. We spend most of our time eating and chatting. With him around, I can order as much food as I like and don't have to worry that I can't finish it. He's known as "bottom-less", he will finish all the food. He's the one whom I can share my stories with over here and he'll always reminds me of things that I somehow neglected.

He's also a super gentleman. Everytime when we walk on the street, he'll always ask me to walk inside and he'll never let me walk outside. So many stories that I can tell about him. He's also very sensitive to what I'm thinking and how I feel. If I am to continue this, it'll be super super lengthy. He's really such a loving person.



Weng Soon

A friend who is "supposed" to inform me about all the church activities and try to make me feel at home and fit into their church. He's 3 years older than me, but at the first sight I thought he's 10 years older than me. Hehe... =p But when I saw him playing games with Soo, I think he's 5 years younger than me.

He's someone who loves God a lot, someone who knows his priority very well and has his purpose clear. By looking at him, reminds me of my priority and my purpose too. He has been a great example for me to know what should I do and what can I do. His presence simply reminds me again and again of the reason I'm here in Petaling Jaya.

He's a kind of quiet person, or rather I should say not so expressive person. It's difficult to share things with him because he normally just say "no comment". Sometimes I don't even know whether he's listening or not. But he's still a nice guy as he'll come and fetch me everytime when there's any activities at night and make sure I reach home safe. He'll wait for me to go inside to my house.



Soo

An interesting person, I guess he's 2 years older than me, if not mistaken.

He's a very cute person. When he's around, there's always laughters. He loves to eat, even though he says he wants to control. He can't stand the temptation. Haha... He's also the one who will always tempt me to eat. Sometimes I don't feel like taking supper, I'm getting fat already with supper almost everyday, but he will purposely order the food that I want to eat and try to tempt me. Most of the time, I fall into his trap and join him in eating. Hehe...

He's someone who is nice to chat with. I like to talk to him because I won't feel pressure or worry about anything. I can just say what I want and know that he'll listen. He's really a nice guy.


Kevin

A cool and funky guy I can say. I like to see the way he dress up. He has good taste for fashion, or rather I should say he's more daring in wearing something funky. Not many guys dare to wear light apple green colour shirt. He looks good in that.

He has a very busy schedule with his work but yet he still try his very best to attend bible study and prayer meeting. He's quite, more quiet than Weng Soon. He's staying nearest to my house, so sometimes he'll be the one to fetch me home and see me go into my house safely. Don't really get to talk much with him yet, but I sense that he's a more sentimental and emotional guy. I just got to know that he's afraid of cockroaches too. Hehe...


Timothy

He's Uncle Weng Onn eldest son, who is also Joseph's brother. 1 year older than me. A big and tough guy. He has a lot to share. Whenever he's around, we don't have to worry there'll be silence. He's also someone who can eat a lot. A real big eater. Last week when we went to A&W, he finished 2 pieces of fried chicken and 2 burgers. And the best part is... that's not his best record. He can actually eat more than that. Scary isn't it?


Aliza

She's Timothy's girl friend. Same age with me. I know her because she's always with Timothy. Everytime we went out for supper, Tim will bring her along. Sometimes when I go to Jo's house, I'll still see her there. She's a unique person I can say. Actually I also don't know what can I say about her, that shows I still don't really know her, but one thing that I must say is... I know she's trying her best to be my friend. She's trying to be friendly to me. It's not an easy task because we both are totally from 2 different world and we have different channels. I'm also trying my best to be her friend too.

Tim and her are really loving. Hmm... I guess I don't feel comfortable seeing them together, doing all those sweet sweet act. Nothing wrong with them, it's just about me. I think I still prefer to hang around with single people.


I think that's it for now. I have been here for 2 months. I'm only close with these few friends. Should I consider it sad? Erm... I don't think so. They are new to me and I'm also new to them. We just need time to get to know each other better. I'm thankful to at least have them around. They really love me and care about me a lot. At least, staying here alone without my dearest family and friends, they are the ones who take care of me and make me feel loved. :-)

Friends = Strangers ??

I used to have 3 very close friends. Still remember those days when 4 of us get together, we can talk about anything and really enjoy spending time together.

Now 3 of them are away. 1 in Shanghai, 1 in Singapore and 1 in Australia. Before they left, I have this concern that we might not be close anymore. Now it really happens.

The one in Australia, never even bother to contact me anymore. It's just so realistic. Ever since he called our relationship off, he never call me anymore.

The one in Singapore, we seldom see each other online. I think less than 5 times ever since she left. She did sent me her recent photos, if not mistaken, beginning of this year. We didn't really chat much, most probably nothing much to talk about anymore.

The one in Shanghai, we seldom see each other online too. I just heard from some other friends of ours that he came back for a short while during labour day holiday. Sad thing is, he didn't even call me to say hi when he's here, don't mention to meet up with me.

It makes me think again. What's friendship? Is it just a temporary passerby? Someone who seems to be so important to me at a point of time can be a total stranger at another point of time. I don't blame it to anyone else, I blame it to myself. I think I contribute to this sad ending of a relationship.

I know past is past, I might not be able to do anything already. However, I need to find out what's the cause of this sad ending of a friendship and try not to do it again. I realize it's all about communication. When we don't communicate with someone often, after sometime, we don't know where to start our conversation anymore. It seems that there are so many things happened in between that they don't know about and it's not easy to tell them the story before giving them the whole picture. The conversation will ended up by just asking very general question like how are you.

I'm quite down and upset when I think about this. I'm now staying in Petaling Jaya whereby all my dear friends are in Penang. I somehow have this concern again that I might lose all these friends one day. I will not get to see them often anymore. I can only go back for weekend and it'll be quite rush so most probably I'll not be able to meet up with them. Every time when they meet up and have lots of fun back there, my heart just feel so pain and really wish that I can be there.

I can only say that I really don't wish to lose any friends anymore. They are all my dearest friends whom I really appreciate their love and care for me. I really don't wish to greet them as a stranger or have nothing much to say anymore. I know I cannot just sit here and do nothing. I tell myself, I must take the initiative to let them know that I really don't wish to lose them and really appreciate them. I must also try my best to communicate and keep myself up to date as much as I can. My heart feels pain whenever I think of losing my friends. :-(

An Achievement

Today, I did something for the first time in my life. Many people might not understand why am I so proud of it and so happy with it as many people might have did this many times in their life. It might be a super simple thing for them and they don't see it as an achievement. But as for me, I have never did this and I always say that I don't know how to do. I never tried. It makes me realize that there are many things that I might know how to do and I can do it, just that whether I want to take the first step to try to do it by myself or not.

Today, we moved into our new hotel office. I'm quite excited about it as I have a new table, new chair, new personal computer and everything new. I have to carry my own belongings into the office, including my pc. It's all still in boxes. I need to take it out and assemble it. I have never assemble a pc before and I always say that I'm a computer idiot and I know nothing about computer, including assemble it. I'll not want to put my hands on to it too.

But today, although many people offer help, I say no and I want to try to assemble it by myself. ( Maybe it's because I have nothing else better to do, so why not take it as a toy puzzle. Hehe… ) I take out all the parts from various boxes, tried my very best to fix it all by myself, trial and error. Actually it's quite easy, just follow the colour and the size of the head. Not that difficult after all.

After awhile, I manage to assemble all the parts together and I switch on the power. It works!!! Haha... can you imagine how happy and content I was at that moment? I'm just so excited that I want to call and tell the whole world that I assemble my first pc, all by myself and it works!!! :-)

That's not the end yet, I sat down and looked at all the wire below my table, it's so messy and untidy. I don't like my place to be so untidy. So I sat down there, started to put all the wires nicely and tied it with the little strings. It took me quite awhile to manage it. But my point is I did it... It's now tidy and neat.

It's just so happy to look below my table and look at my pc. :-)

God provides

Last Wednesday, my bible study group leader Joel asked us whether we experience God answers our prayers directly before or not. I immediately nodded my head and can't wait to share my story with the rest of the group members.

This month I'm in a very poor state, I mean financially poor. I have used up my April salary to pay for the JB trip, to repair my house roof and also to buy gift for my mother for mother's day. I only left RM50 with me since 8th of May.

I prayed hard that I can control myself not to simply spend money and can survive until the end of the month when I get my May's salary. Luckily lunch is provided by my company and most of the night I'll be having my dinner in my aunt's house, so I don't really need to use money, unless I go out with my friends. Although there are lots of things that I need to buy, I kept telling myself that I can delay and buy later.

Until Sunday, I was sick, very sick and I really need to see doctor and get medicine. I started to worry because I know to see doctor in PJ is not a cheap thing to do. It will easily cost at least RM40. My company policy is that we have to pay our own medical bill then only claim. The worst thing is we can only get our claims end of the month together with our salary. If I see doctor, then I'll be broke. I was thinking whether I should borrow money from Joseph or not, which I don't feel comfortable doing so. I included all these worries into my prayers.

Monday morning, HR informed that there is a change in policy. Now we don't have to pay our own first, we only need to get an authorization letter from HR and go to the panel clinic. We can see doctor without paying a single cent. Haha... Can you believe this? Of course, I'm so happy to hear this news. It means I don't have to borrow any money from anyone and I can see doctor to get my medicine all free of charge.

To speed up my recovery, I need to buy some other things to help. Due to the reason that I'm now moving into the new hotel office, the construction work is still on in some other parts of the hotel, so it's very dusty and it makes me cough badly. So I need to buy some herbal drink to drink and need to buy strepsils for my sore throat. I have to spend some money, this one I can't delay.

I started to worry again, not sure whether I can survive until month end. That very night, my dad called and told me that my grandma gave me RM50 for my birthday and he has just banked into my account. Haha... God works in miraculous ways. So now I'm confirmed that I can survive til month end. Even if I face with any problem, I know that I should have more faith and He will provide. With this incident, I ask for His forgiveness for not having enough faith in Him and worry about things that I shouldn't even need to worry at the first place. :-)

Interesting Incident in Singapore

Last Sunday after the Convention, my friends and I went over to Singapore for a day trip. Since I promised one of the main characters that I'll not use real name here, I shall use the alphabet A, B, C, D and E to represent them. I'm sure they themselves will know who I'm talking about.

We went there in the afternoon after lunch, while B can't go together with us as he needs to attend an important meeting. So 5 of us took a bus to Orchard Road first. We walked around looking at all the big shopping mall. I was amazed by the super huge and expensive shopping mall. I wonder whether Singaporean has nothing else better to do than to shop?

We ended spending most of our time in Kinokuniya, the biggest bookstore there. We enjoyed sitting there reading books. I'm sure some people will laugh at this. We went all the way to Singapore just to read books, which we can also do so in KL. Hehe...

Around evening, B came over to meet up with us. When he reached, he called C. C asked him to wait for us at the big fountain in front of the Ngee Aun City. It's a very big and beautiful fountain, a landmark I would say.

We walked over to meet him. C felt like giving him a surprise. So he wanted to frighten him. A, D and E didn't want to join the silly act, while C and I ran over from the other end without him noticing, trying to frighten him from the side. I quietly ran to the side and gave him a tap but I didn't know that C has climbed behind him and wanted to tap him from behind. C took the risk of having such a small place to squat down just an inch away from dropping into the water.

I didn't know he was there and I only touched him so "gently" but since he was squatting and he can't really balance himself, there went a big splash... He fell into the water, BOTTOM DOWN... with both his hands and legs up!!! And the most interesting part was he shouted "AIYAH"...so loud that everyone there were looking at us. I can even see them laughing too. Haha, who can not laugh at such a scene? A, D and E saw the whole scene from up there and they were laughing like mad.

At that point, although it's funny, I started to feel guilty and worry that C might be extremely angry of me as I have caused him into such an embarrassing moment. Phew... luckily he's fine and he's also laughing. Haha... I once read that the highest level of reaction is to be able to laugh at yourself when you are in deep shit. :-) Wow! C did it!

He was wet from top to bottom and from outside to inside... Haha!! We sat down behind there, looking at him, trying to think of what we can do next. So now we got to buy clothes for him to change. B, D and E walked a few steps away wanted to go and get something for C. Then, I called E, E looked back and got what I meant so he too start laughing. I guessed B got what I meant too and he felt shy so he walked back to C and trying to ask whether there's anything particular that he wants to buy. At that time, A got up and walked towards D and E. B saw it and immediately turned back and ran towards them without waiting for C to answer that question. Haha... It's just so funny to look at B's reaction.

C and I sat there and chat while waiting for them to buy back all the necessary. They went for so long that we finished exchanging stories from our grandmother's time. I think they took almost an hour. They then came back with a few packets in their hands. They told us that they have been hunting from shop to shop trying to get him the cheapest clothes that they can. Now they came back with EVERYTHING!!! T-shirt, short pants, slippers and even underwear. We were still laughing hard.

C walked into the toilet in the shopping mall with his head down, dare not even look up for a second, rushed his way through to the toilet.

We waited outside, continue to laugh out loud as we repeat the story over and over again. After awhile, C walked out with his new clothes from top to bottom and from outside to inside too... We were all waiting anxiously to find out whether he can fit into those garments. Good news!!! He can fit into all those but he has lots of comments, especially the pants and the underwear. =p

We were so hungry after all the laughing, it was late and we can't really eat what we planned to it anymore, so we just simply head to any restaurant that was still opened. After we got all our food, we start to refresh and repeat the story in more details again. We just couldn't have enough of it.

C then shared his findings in the toilet when he changed. He explained how the pants gave him the difficulties of doing his business in so much details, it's a bit censored and I'm not a guy so I can't really describe what really happened, it's so funny that we were all laughing til stomache and tears in the eyes. He also told us that this is the first time he's wearing such sexy underwear. He's just so fascinated with his new underwear. By the way, for your information, the underwear is the most expensive thing that they bought among all the clothes. It's even more expensive than the slippers and the pants. C couldn't believe it that he's buying such expensive underwear. The whole restaurant was filled with our laughter. I really had a great time laughing. I had not laugh so hard for quite a long long while already.

After that, we were quite tired and exhausted. We then took a taxi back to Johor Bahru, back to our hotel.

Most probably it was the most embarrassing day in C's life, but for me, it was the most memorable day full with laughter. I'm not sure about A, B, D and E but I'm sure it was one of the days that they will definitely remember for life!!! Haha... still can't stop laughing when I think about the whole incident.

ClaPEJ

I just feel like writing about a new friend that I just got to know during the convention.

First day, when we first met, he was so quiet and "looked" blur. I must emphasize again that he "looked" blur. =p We didn't get to talk much. I noticed him just following behind us no matter where we went, not even giving his opinion on where he feels like going. He'll just "obey" our decision. Maybe the rest of us have known each other for quite long and we are so used to talking all those craps... and sometimes, he's just too quiet that we don't even realize he's there. Sometimes, I'm concerned that he might feel so bored following us around and feel so abandoned as we kept talking among ourselves, so I kept reminding everyone to involve him in our conversation. It's not an easy task as we are so familiar with one another and our conversation may seems so "stranger" for him.

All this goodie impression of him only last for a few days. =p Until the last night before we went back to Penang, 6 of us, should I say the younger ones? Ok lah, give them face, call them the young ones for once, although I'm the only young one there. =p I know all of them were tired but we just want to spend more time together, chatting... So we were in a room having fellowship.

As usual, I try to crack for topics. It's tough because he still doesn't know most of our stories so we can't actually say much. Basically I can't ask anyone else any questions beside him so for the whole night we have interviewing him, asking him lots of questions and he's just so nice to answer all of them, including how he knows his wife back then.

Throughout the conversation, he really "opens up himself" (not physically) and shared lots of his stories with us. We were all so surprised to know how humorous he is. He can just make us laugh like mad. The way he narrates his stories is just simply humorous. He knows where to give timely punch line that makes all of us couldn't have enough of his stories. He's really the man!!!

After we were back to our own homes, I'm glad to know that he has been part of us. I'm sure he has found his sense of belonging in our group. We have one more new member. :-) He sent us email with lots of humour in it again.

One thing I must mention is his creativity. He has put "ClaPEJ" as his subject title in all the emails he sent out to us. At first I was curious what's that means, as he said, I'm also equally too free like him, he create the puzzle and I crack it. When I found out the meaning of ClaPEJ, I'm just so…. I don't know what word to use to describe how I feel about him. He's really a joker!!!

ClaPEJ is the initial of 6 of our names. Clement, Lilian, Amy, Peng Yew, Ee Liang and Johnson. And the reason why CPEJ is in capital letter while la is in small is the difference of guy and girl. Isn't it creative?

Johnson, you are one of the very special person that I met. Your presence has made my trip this time a more interesting and memorable one. :-) Thanks!!!

Scary Experience

Last weekend I went back to Butterworth. I took 6pm bus back to KL on Sunday. I purposely pay more expensive to take a bus back to Hentian Duta as it's easier for my uncle to pick me up and send me home, but that terrible bus drove me to Puduraya and didn't want to send us to Duta. He insisted us to get down from the bus. He said he has off scheduled, it's too late already. He needs to drive to Johor now. If we insited not to get down, we'll just follow him to Johor, he'll NOT go to Duta no matter how we make noise. What a terrible bus driver! It's a Super Nice bus. Dad says he'll write to JPJ to complain about it.

Uncle Edmund came to pick me up from the Pudu station and sent me home straight. When I reached home, it's already 11pm. I was extremely tired and hungry. I haven't have my dinner yet. I already troubled uncle Edmund to come all the way to fetch me and I dare not ask him to fetch me to buy food, so I thought I'll just make do with what I have at home.

When I reached home, I opened the door and I almost fainted!!!
The little ants hundreds of it, crawl all the way from outside the porch to the kitchen.
I just couldn't understand how come got ants as I already made sure that I cleared all the food in the kitchen.
I tried to trace it and I found out the reasons.
Before I went back to Butterworth, I actually put some ants powder in the kitchen to kill the usual big ants. Now the big ants died and the little ants crawled all the way to eat them. My goodness!!
I thought of just leaving them alone and have my dinner first.
I wanted to take milk with my corn flakes and who knows the little ants attacked my cornflakes on the dining table too.
I pushed the chair too near to the table and the little ants crawl onto the table from the chair. There go my cornflakes and my dinner!!!

My whole body started to feel so itchy by looking at hundreds of the ants. At that point, I really don't know what to do. I feel so frustrated. I was talking to Ee Liang telling him how frust I am as I'm extremely tired and hungry but yet I have to clean up this mess.
Once I put down my phone, I tried to put the ants powder to kill the little ants. When I walked in the kitchen, I stepped on something, I immediately take up my foot and it's a cockroach crawling and I STEPPED ON A COCKROACH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND IT’S A FLYING COCKROACH!!! ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was so scared and frightened. I screamed so loud that I guessed my neighbours heard it too. I felt so helpless and really don't know what to do. Tears start rolling down and I just hope someone is beside me. I was feeling so miserable. I ran back into my room, closed the door and sat on the bed, didn't know what to do. I just can't stop crying and crying and crying. At that point of time, I just felt that I can't take it anymore and I wanted to give up. I wanted to quit my job and go back home. I don't want to stay there alone anymore. I cried so badly that my whole face and body became numb again. I can't feel and I can only saw white shadow. I knew I have to control myself because it's dangerous for me to cry like that. Everytime when I cry too hard, I'll become like that. So I told myself to stop that, I called Juan See and talked to her. She was shocked to hear me crying. She tried to comfort me and tell me what to do. I stopped crying so badly and tried to take many deep breaths.

I managed to control myself after awhile. I know I have to do something. I took the spray and spray the little ants all the way from the porch to kitchen. Then I swept away the little ants. The spray made the floor became oily but I was too tired.

Then I wanted to go and wash up and sleep, but the flying cockroach was still there right beside the switch of the toilet. I stand quite a distant away, trembling, hoping that the cockroach will just go somewhere further so that I can go into the toilet. I prayed hard asking that it will go away. I even tried to talked to the cockroach, asking it to go away pleeeeeeaaaaassssseeeee!!!!

After quite awhile, the cockroach was still there but a little bit further, so I took a deep breath, ran to on the switch with a lightning speed, rushed into the toilet and closed the door real tight. I washed up as fast as I could. Then, took another deep deep breath, opened the door, off the switch and ran back to my room. Phew!!! What a mission impossible!!!

I just felt so tired and still half trembling, didn’t even feel hungry anymore. I off the light, lied on the bed, tried not to think of anything and sleep. I didn't have anything for my dinner.

What a scary experience that I had. It has been a very long while that I didn't cry so badly already. The last time was about Steven. It makes me realize that I cried equally bad for him and for the cockroach, which means he's just like another cockroach... Haha... =p

I know I have to conquer this fear in order to continue to stay there alone but it's just so difficult and I don't know how to conquer this fear. Haiz...